Fight or Flight
by Jaelle
Summary: Heiji Hattori encounters the Kaitou Kid, and the two join forces. Sort of. More of a sharing really. Rated for some violence.


Fight or Flight  
  
By Jaelle  
  
A Detective Conan/Kaitou Kid Crossover  
  
**  
  
Disclaimer: All the characters herein are the property of Gosho Aoyama, from whom I have stolen them, but intend to return them tomorrow.  
  
**  
  
The sun shone, glinting off the windows of Osaka Castle, the youthful faces of the students attending a trip there, and the badges of the vast quantity of policemen milling around.  
  
"This is a great field trip, don't you think?" Kazuha asked calmly, surveying the view from the top level of the castle.  
  
"Yeah, it's fun," Heiji said flatly.  
  
"So," Kazuha shot him an overly-casual glance. "Why do you think all these police are here?"  
  
"Dunno," Heiji grunted, pretending to be engrossed in the sheet of paper he was supposed to be filling in.  
  
"I just think it's strange that there's so many of them all around," Kazuha prodded.  
  
"Mmm..." Heiji said non-commitally. "Go ask if you're so curious."  
  
"It could be a murder..." Kazuha sing-songed.  
  
Heiji twitched, but otherwise didn't respond. Kazuha regarded him sympathetically. "Your Mum and Dad really read you the riot act after that last case huh?"  
  
He shrugged, "He's yelled at me before."  
  
"And your mother...?" Kazuha asked, yanking away the piece of paper he was hiding behind.  
  
Heiji sighed, "Made me promise not to get involved in any more cases until AFTER exams. Alright? Are you happy now? If so, can I have my worksheet back? I have to finish this, and then I've got math equations to memorise."  
  
"Sorry," Kazuha handed it back sheepishly. "I just wanted to know."  
  
Heiji took it back with poor grace. "Well now you do. I'm grounded as a detective for three weeks till after exams." He scratched the back of his neck. "It's not fair. _Kudo's_ parents don't complain. They LET him investigate. Hell, they HELP him."  
  
"Your parents care about you," Kazuha said. "They're just trying to look after you. And you did get quite badly hurt last time. You know how that worries your mother."  
  
Heiji growled something incomprehensible and Kazuha restrained the urge to sigh. She knew that all of his patience was currently on overdrive preventing him from horning in on the police action, and that there would be none left over for her.  
  
Kazuha patted his arm. "I'm gonna go find out what the excitement is," she said. "Wait for me?"  
  
He nodded and went back to filling in his worksheet as she danced away downstairs.  
  
"I have good news and bad news," she said when she returned. "The good news is, it's not a murder..."  
  
Heiji grunted.  
  
"The bad news is, it's the Kaitou Kid."  
  
"DAMMIT!" He threw down the worksheet irritably, looking around him. "He was only here a few months ago, why can't he pick somewhere else? And in about three weeks time would be good too."  
  
"What are you looking for?" Kazuha asked curiously.  
  
"I'm just trying to see if that guy is here," Heiji replied.  
  
"'That guy?' Not Kudo?" Kazuha craned her neck around, peering down off the balcony they were standing on.  
  
"No. His name's Hakuba something. Hakuba... no, it's gone. Another Detective, specialises in the Kid." Heiji continued looking around, shielding his eyes from the sunlight. "Supposed to be our age. I know his reputation, but I've never met him. Kudo has though."  
  
"Oh." Kazuha looked disappointed. "I can't see anyone like that."  
  
"Hmph," Heiji looked down at the policemen, a gleam in his eyes. "I wonder..."  
  
He closed his eyes. "No... I promised." Bending down, he scooped up his worksheet. "Let's get this stupid thing done so we can get out of here before the madness that is a Kaitou Kid chase scene descends on us. You want to do a study session tonight?"  
  
"Biology?" Kazuha asked hopefully. "I could really use some help."  
  
"Okay, but math afterwards," Heiji said, turning away with a wrench. "We BOTH need to work on that."  
  
Kazuha made a face. "Oh all ri..."  
  
"THERE HE GOES!"  
  
Heiji wheeled to see the familiar form of Kaitou Kid, aloft on his glider, flying past them.  
  
"You couldn't have waited TEN MINUTES?!" He yelled, shaking his fist at the masked thief. "I was NEARLY..."  
  
There was a loud bust of automatic gunfire.  
  
"What the...?" Kazuha stared upwards as the Kid lurched in midair.  
  
"KAZUHA! Get DOWN!" Heiji yanked his childhood friend inside the castle and pushed her down onto the floor, covering her body with his own as people screamed below. He cursed as gunfire sounded again, but remained firmly shielding Kazuha's body. Crawling over to the balcony he peered out and up, just as another quick burst of machine gun fire shredded Kid's glider. The thief's body jerked once and then went limp, spiralling and falling between the two wings of the Castle. Heiji's breath caught in his throat and almost without thinking he lurched to his feet and sprinted towards the edge of the balcony.  
  
"Heiji!"  
  
"STAY WHERE YOU ARE!" He roared, before leaping as hard as he could from the balcony's edge, arms reaching out and impossibly catching the falling body. It wasn't even heavy until he landed on one of the balconies of the opposing wing. Momentum drove him forward and he smashed painfully into the doors.  
  
"Ow!"  
  
More shots hit above him as he frantically ducked, the surprisingly heavy figure of the Kid still held in his arms. Desperately, he flung his weight against the shuttered windows and they snapped open. Panting, he threw himself into the room, then through it into the corridor.  
  
"Dammit!"  
  
Heiji's swearing echoed in the silence as his feet got caught in Kid's long cape and he nearly tripped. Glancing around he spotted some stairs at the far end of the corridor. More shots pelted into the room behind him as he headed for them and the dubious safety of the stairwell.  
  
Peering down it, he could hear footsteps. *Damn, don't know who that is. Better go up.*  
  
Grunting with the effort, he hauled the Kid up one flight of stairs, then down another corridor until he found a large closet.  
  
*Oh what the hell.*  
  
Heiji dragged the injured thief into the closet and closed it behind them. *This is, without doubt, the worst hiding place I have ever used.*  
  
Slowly, he got his breath back and considered their situation. *Police everywhere, unknown numbers of people with guns, civilians... please let Kazuha have stayed safe... oh yeah, and the Kid.*  
  
Heiji looked down at Kid, thoughts moving quickly. *These guys are after _him_, and they don't wanna talk. They're gonna kill him. I can't let that happen. But this guy's out cold, he's not going anywhere soon.* He bit his lip. *I have to draw them away somehow.*  
  
Heiji's eyes narrowed and he took another look at the Kid, remembering something Kudo had once complained about - Kid's disguising himself as Kudo to fool Ran. Heiji had snickered and made a rude comment about all the Kudo- imitators roaming around and then forgotten about it. But Heiji himself had doubled for Kudo a couple of times. So if they could both pass as the same guy...  
  
Heiji wrenched the cloak off the other boy and dropped it to one side. Then he nabbed the top hat and put it on, discarding his baseball cap regretfully. He reached for the monocle as well, and then paused, hand outstretched. It hadn't even occurred to him until now, but if he took off the disguise he could solve the biggest mystery in Japan - the identity of Kaitou Kid. Hell, he had the Kid right here - he could tie him up, handcuff him, lock him somewhere. Of course the Kid was something of an escape artist, but with the knowledge of his identity...  
  
And after all, he really _needed_ that monocle to complete the disguise. He was practically doing the Kid a _favour_. Wasn't he owed something in return?  
  
Why the hell was he feeling guilty about taking the monocle off? This was the _Kaitou Kid_ for crying out loud. He was a _thief_, a _criminal_. Nothing more!  
  
Even if he was a thief who had been nearly killed by mysterious men with machine guns who were definitely not nice people.  
  
Oh hell.  
  
Heiji's hand closed on the monocle just as the eye underneath it fluttered and opened.  
  
**  
  
The side door burst open and the Kaitou Kid sprinted out, cape billowing behind him. Bullets struck the ground behind him as he ran down the open path between the two buildings, nearing the point where the police were ready. As he ran past them, the shots ceased.  
  
"Shouldn't you be doing something about gun violence in Japan?" He shouted at them as he ran by. "Really, it's disgraceful!"  
  
"Come back here you ungrateful bastard!" Heiji shouted, emerging from the side door. "Where the hell are you going?"  
  
"Sooo sorry!" The Kid trilled back. "But I must dash. Ta ta!"  
  
With a mad cackle, the Kaitou Kid dodged Inspector Nakamori's lunge and flashed past him, heading for the open gates and freedom.  
  
"Damn it!" Heiji ran after him, then ducked as fresh gunfire kicked up around him and the police as they tried to get to the source of the shots. "OW!!"  
  
"Are you alright?" A sergeant asked him.  
  
"Bullet winged me." Heiji swiped impatiently at a line of blood trickling down his forehead from a sharp cut and a livid bruise. "Can you believe his ingratitude? I saved his life and he HIT me and ran off!" Heiji snarled. "And now I've gotten shot AGAIN! Owowowowow... my father's going to kill me for this."  
  
"Sir! The second unit is circling around on the gunmen's position... but they seem to have pulled out already." Another policeman reported.  
  
"Dammit!" Nakamori thumped his fist against the ground. "And the Kid?"  
  
"He got away," someone sighed. "_Again_."  
  
**  
  
Later that afternoon, in Osaka's main hospital...  
  
"Yeah, I saw the news piece too," Heiji smiled into his cellphone. "I thought I looked pretty dashing. Don't you? Hey! How dare you say that? Just for that I'm not bringing you back any of the goodies the nice ladies at the hospital have given me." His cellphone beeped. "Uh, Kazuha, I've got another call coming in and I'm expecting something important. I'll call you back, alright? Yeah, yeah. Bye."  
  
He pushed a few buttons. "Hello?"  
  
"Heiji Hattori?"  
  
"Well it's about damn time you called," Heiji snapped. "Where and when?"  
  
"Two hours, the Osaka Aquarium. In the carpark. How will I recognise you?"  
  
"Oh, you'll recognise me."  
  
**  
  
Heiji sighed as he stared at himself in the Aquarium carpark. "This sucks! You can even do the voice! Kudo can't do the voice. He never gets the accent right."  
  
The Kaitou Kid smirked back at him. "I've had more practice," he said. His eyes hardened. "I want my clothes back."  
  
"Me too, but you seem to still be wearing them." Heiji stared pointedly at his school uniform, currently being worn by the bandaged Kid. He himself was now wearing a more casual outfit of sweatshirt and jeans.  
  
Kaitou plucked at the uniform jacket. "And _you're_ wearing my spare clothes stash, so quit complaining. We'll duck into the bathrooms and get changed and noone'll be the wiser. Hell, I'll even pay for your dry- cleaning."  
  
"Don't forget to give me your bandages too," Heiji said. "I'm going to have a heck of a time keeping my mother away from them as it is."  
  
"Should have thought of that beforehand Mr Detective," Kid retorted. "Are all your plans that crazy? I'd get caught in a week if I routinely took risks like that."  
  
"Hey Mr Concussion, you were in no condition to make that run and I was. Be grateful I decided to take pity on the poor, pathetic, injured thief," Heiji shook his head in disgust. "Speaking of which, how's your head?"  
  
"Fine. How're you?"  
  
"Tired." Heiji admitted. "I don't usually do quite so much running away. I'm usually doing the chasing."  
  
"I have to admit, it was kinda interesting being on the other side of the chase," Kid admitted. "Although once they saw my head injury, they didn't let me go very far."  
  
"I should hope not! And _before_ we do the clothing swap, you can at least give me back my omamori, wallet and cellphone."  
  
"In return for my costume!"  
  
"Done," Heiji handed over a paper bag and the Kid dug out the required objects, dropping them into a plastic bag the hospital had given him to carry things in. "By the way, Kazuha rang," he said absently as he passed them over.  
  
"Oh? What did she say?"  
  
"She said you looked ten pounds heavier on TV," Kid smirked at Heiji.  
  
"That brat!" Heiji looked up indignantly from his check of the bag. "See if I let her have any of this get-well chocolate from the hospital now!"  
  
"That's what _I_ said!" The Kaitou Kid laughed. Heiji joined him. Then they stopped abruptly and stared at each other.  
  
"Now remember what we agreed," Heiji said. "After today, we will never _ever_ speak of this again. Noone will ever know. Deal?"  
  
"Deal." The Kid stuck out his hand. Heiji stared at it briefly and then clasped it.  
  
They shook seriously and solemnly gazed at each other.  
  
It could never have lasted.  
  
"Although..." Heiji's mouth twitched.  
  
"Yes, although..." Kid smiled. "It _would_ be kind of funny to drop a few hints around Hakuba."  
  
"And Co... Kudo..." Heiji corrected himself. "Yes. It would be, wouldn't it?"  
  
"Just a couple of casual hints..." Kid added.  
  
"Oh of course, wouldn't do to overdo it."  
  
"Not at all, just a few casual comments..."  
  
"'Honestly Hakuba, I thought all Detectives were supposed to be built for muscle, like Hattori'."  
  
"'Really Kudo, you need to work out more. Even as Shinichi, the Kid is still faster than you'."  
  
"Of course," Kaitou recovered a little. "That would be _wrong_."  
  
"Oh yeah." Heiji smirked. "But we're gonna do it anyway."  
  
"They'll go NUTS!" Kid giggled briefly. "And we'll just look innocent."  
  
"Like little lambs."  
  
"While they freak out wondering what the hell is going on."  
  
"Does this make me a bad person?" Heiji wondered.  
  
"Good and Bad aren't as black and white as everyone thinks," Kid replied. "Sometimes, they kind of meet..."  
  
"And cross..." Heiji regarded his opponent thoughtfully. He sighed. "I'll probably regret this, but those guys with guns looked pretty serious. If you're ever in desperate straits again, I'm in the phone book."  
  
Kid nodded. "I might just be taking you up on that... you and Kudo both. I'm hearing... rumours that I don't like."  
  
Heiji sighed. "Why is it never easy?"  
  
"If it was," the Kaitou Kid laughed, "it wouldn't be any fun! Come on, let's get changed... My mother's cooking curry chicken for dinner and I don't want to be late."  
  
"Fine..." Heiji smiled sweetly. "In the spirit of trust and cooperation, we'll be swapping one piece of clothing at a time until we're done."  
  
"Why Hattori, I'm offended. Are you implying I'd leave you naked in the men's bathrooms of the Osaka Aquarium?"  
  
"Implying hell! I KNOW you'd do it!"  
  
"You know Hattori, this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship."  
  
End. 


End file.
